The national OCD charity, run by and for people with lived experience of OCD
I remember being diagnosed with OCD almost 5 years ago, I was starting secondary school, which of course for everyone is a tough time, but something wasn’t quite right. I honestly couldn’t tell you all of my obsessions and thoughts as I would be here till next year, but it was ridiculously crazy times.
I was so scared to tell anyone as I didn’t know what it was myself, I just thought I was a terrible person and if I was to tell anyone, they would hate me and disown me. I finally broke down to my mum one night as it got too much, and I didn’t know what to do, it was every second of every single day. I couldn’t do anything without doing a compulsion. Telling my mum, I was so scared but after telling her I felt this huge weight lift of my shoulders, my dad came in and was wondering why I was crying so mum told him what I said, and he knew straight away what it was as he has it too.
They took me to the doctors the next day which of course I was frightened and shy to tell anyone what was happening to me. They referred me to CAMHS, which I was then boosted up the waiting list because it was severely impacting my life. I remember going to Reading and that itself was scary as it’s a big city and it suddenly began to feel serious.
I arrived at this massive old house which was converted into a hospital/CAMHS, I was put into a room, two ladies came in and had a talk with me, they were both so lovely and understanding, it made me feel so much better to have someone tell me in not crazy and I’m not alone. Dr Alice Farrington was one of the lovely ladies that diagnosed me and funnily enough was recently my therapist, she is one amazing and caring individual that has helped me so much, I owe her a lot.
Basically, when you are first diagnosed or first wanting to talk to someone about it, it can be scary, but I promise you that you aren’t alone, and you are not crazy. For the longest time I thought I was mental, but I soon realised it was just mental health. You are the controller, even if it doesn’t feel like that. You have the power inside of you to talk to someone and you are stronger than you think, I am living proof that telling someone how you feel can only make you feel better. Thank you for reading. Stay safe and be brave!
Best Wishes, Mia
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