OCDUKYA Isabel


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As well as this month’s theme of “OCD is…”, I also wanted to share how I intend to try and beat some of the OCD worries that have returned during the pandemic. Understandably, the coronavirus outbreak has been a massive setback for me and, while this is frustrating, I have decided to make a list of all the things that I’m now concerned about as lockdown eases. I will then divide them up into small tasks, so I gradually build up to my aim.

For example, going to town is now something that I am very unwilling to do because there are so many things associated with it that I am worried about (which is a shame because I love shopping). My plan is to divide this into stages, building up from being able to go on a walk by myself and taking a bag outside, all the way to going to town with a bag by myself or with a friend. Hopefully, this is a strategy that others will find helpful.

 

OCD is…

It’s not that I have a quirk, or that I worry too much.

It’s not that I like to wash my hands so thoroughly, It’s not that I don’t want to go out with people.

It’s not that I don’t trust you, or that I think you’re dirty.

It’s not that I can’t be bothered to help you, or that I’m lazy.

It’s not that I’m distant or unfriendly, or that I don’t want to talk to you.

It’s really that I have OCD.

An overbearing cage, thieving me of calm.

The paralyzing shapeshifter, demanding my attention.

A fiendish loop of compulsions, consuming me in a labyrinth of distress.

The unprecedented thief, subtle until it becomes debilitating.

A frustrating companion, both destructive yet humbling.

The encompassing disorder, forcing many into years of isolation.

It’s so much more than you think.

- Isabel


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