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I don’t remember a life without you,
you have helped me cope when I couldn’t understand.

You have given me distractions when things got too hard,
you comforted me when I couldn’t cry.

You gave me something to trust when I couldn’t trust myself,
you have always been there for me,
or so I thought.

Now I realise what you are,
a malicious intruder who just wants control.

You took advantage of a vulnerable child,
and made her dependant on your evil ways.

You made her hands raw and red,
you made her feel like something worthless.

You ruined her life,
and she didn’t even know it.

She trusted you but you just abused it.
I only saw you as you are,
when I was at my lowest,
where you went too far.
Where you worked with another illness,
and landed me on my deathbed.
I only saw then,
that I wanted a life,
that I wanted to be free.

It will be a struggle,
I know.

You will try and pull me back into the abyss,
but I won’t give in.

Not like I have for my whole childhood.
I will try,
I will fight,
I will get back what I have lost.

I will beat you,
OCD.

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